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OBJECTIVE: Landover Baptist Shutdown

Frequently Asked Questions

We at OBJECTIVE: Ministries have gotten a lot of questions about our Landover "Baptist" Shutdown campaign by both Christians wanting to know more about the problem and what they can do to help as well as unsaved people who have been kept in the dark by their control-hungry Atheist leaders. Often times we find ourselves answering the same questions over and over. Part of the problem is that the anti-Christian thugs who oppose our progress try to spread misinformation about us, leading to us having to undo their damage one person at a time. On this page, I hope to set the record straight once and for all by answering some of our most frequently asked questions.

Don't you understand that Landover isn't a real Church?

Of course we realize that Landover is all make believe, that is why we oppose it. Landover is trying to pass itself off as a real Baptist church in order to spread misconceptions about Christians in general and Baptists in particular, as well as perverting the message of Jesus so as to make it unpalatable to people ignorant of the Lord. This is all calculated to ferment anti-Christian hatred in the minds of the public and drive people away from Salvation.

Landover apologists argue that Americhrist Ltd. -- the scoundrels behind Landover -- are just engaging in "satire", but this is not the case. Real satire serves a social good, highlighting wrong-doing via exaggeration. What the people behind Landover are instead doing is intentionally saying things that they know will elicit strong emotional reactions in groups susceptible to disbelief -- for instance slandering singing groups popular with teens -- while linking these obvious lies with the word "Christian", thereby inculcating anti-Christianity in the hapless readers.

Evidence for this lack of satiric purpose comes from the Landover guestbook which is set up to automatically censor words like "satire", "parody", "joke", etc. in order to keep good Christians from explaining that Landover isn't real. Furthermore, agents of Americhrist Ltd. have often resorted to impersonating Christians -- including myself -- in an attempt to discredit and silence opposition. It is clear from these tactics that what Landover is attempting to do is not humor, but to trick people into hating Christians and Christ.

But doesn't Landover state that they are a "parody/satire" somewhere on their site?

While it is true that one or two of the pages on the Landover site declare themselves a parody, these declarations are in very small print at the page bottom, hidden in a copyright statement, or are buried inside mounds of pseudo-legal-babble (such as on their "Terms of Service" page) -- all things that most visitors will not take the time to read. The various inflammatory articles themselves do not have these statements, nor does the front page of the site. Clearly, this is intentional -- designed so that Americhrist Ltd. can legally claim they are informing the public of their true nature, while not actually causing the public to be so informed.

A true parody or satire site -- one whose goal isn't deception -- would announce itself as such to a visitor in a clear way before the visitor was allowed to read any potentially misleading or disturbing content. If Landover was honest, the banner on its front page would read "Landover Baptist Church, A Parody". Instead, there is no acknowledgment of parodical or satirical intent presented to the visitor. We must then assume that the true intent is deception and fraud.

There are other hate sites on the Internet, why do you only oppose Landover?

We are aware that other hate sites exist on the Internet and we oppose those sites too. However, most of the sites listed by people who ask this question already have vocal opponents who are doing much work to shut those sites down -- work that we applaud. Anti-Christian bigotry and hatespeech, on the other hand, is not as vigorously and publicly opposed, and is a field in dire need of attention. Every cause needs a champion and this is why we have dedicated ourselves to the cause of ridding the Internet of anti-Christian hate mongers. And the most destructive of these online hate merchants is, we believe, Landover.

Just because we don't mention other hate sites doesn't mean we tacitly support them, as Americhrist Ltd.'s spin doctors have been desperately trying to get people to believe. We don't mention drug and alcohol abuse on our Landover Shutdown pages, would it then make sense to accuse us of being drug pushers and pro-drunk driving? No, of course not. But this is exactly the sort of silly conclusion that Landover's supporters are trying to get you to reach by asking this loaded question.

Why isn't Landover shut down yet?

We are working hard to reach our goal of shutting down Landover. Unfortunately, the forces of darkness cast their shadow over much of our society and agents of evil can find fiendish friends to aid and abet them in their evildoing. Our just goal has been met with much treacherous resistance by people willing to lie, cheat, and abuse positions of power in their attempt to destroy Christianity and send the souls of the unsaved to eternal damnation. Consequently, it is taking longer than we had originally hoped. But we have faith that this is all according to God's will. Perhaps He wants us to learn from the struggle, or perhaps the protracted battle will give more unsaved persons an opportunity to learn of the Lord. Whatever the case, we will persevere in the knowledge that God is on our side.

Wasn't the Internet invented by Tim Berners-Lee, a British man, not by Americans?

The Internet
The Internet: An American invention built on Faith.

This is a common myth born out of misunderstanding of what the Internet is (as well as Secularist European propaganda).

Tim Berners-Lee did not invent the Internet. He invented (or rather, claimed to invent) the "World Wide Web", an application that runs on top of the Internet, much as e-mail and Gopher do. However, Berners-Lee only created a very limited, ad hoc imitation (a crude sketch, really) of the more elaborate vision of an American, Ted Nelson, who coined the term "hypertext" as part of Project Xanadu, which was founded in 1960, when Berners-Lee was only 5 years old and 30 years before the WWW.

But Nelson -- being a professed Atheist and therefore unguided by a sense morality -- stole his ideas from another American, Vannevar Bush, who in a 1945 Atlantic article titled "As We May Think" posited a "memory extender" (or "memex"), a device that would allow access to a vast library of information with the ability to add notes and follow trails of links. In other words, what the Web became after American companies like America Online, Netscape, and Microsoft expanded on Berners-Lee's primitive protocol. (The choice of Berners-Lee's over-simplified Web protocol over the more advanced, true hypertext of Nelson had more to do with European academic political machinations from CERN than with either originality or worth.)

As the true founder of the Web, Bush cautioned against the sort of "information wants to be free" egotism that is now common on the Internet, thanks to anti-Christians such as Landover's Chris Harper. Instead, Bush saw Faith as central to his vision of the Internet:

"The course of history is determined by the faith that men are guided by. If they misread the lessons of expanding knowledge and in their brazen egotism believe that all things are known or knowable, then they will see nothing but an endlessly repeating pattern of sordid strife, the ascendancy of ruthlessness and cunning, man damned to exist a little time on an earth where there is nothing higher than to seize and kill and dominate. If they see beyond this they will see by faith, and not by reading instruments or combining numbers. They may look beyond by religious faith, or they may look merely because they feel validity in the heart's desire and conviction that good will is not a delusion. If they have faith they will build, and they will grow strong that their buildings may endure."

The Internet itself, which the Web operates on top of, arose out of research done under the auspices of ARPA (now known as DARPA, a US military research funding program) during the 1950-80s in the United States of America by loyal Americans fighting the Cold War (our own Jack Holgroth played an important role in introducing research from the field of Game Theory to packet-switching network protocols). The Internet was originally called ARPANET and the first four nodes in 1969 were at UCLA, Stanford, the University of Utah, and UC Santa Barbara -- all locations in the United States. Eventually foreign sites were allowed to connect, arguably a lapse in judgement.

So, as can be seen, the Internet is a thoroughly American invention (even taking into consideration the common confusion between the Web and the Internet) with its foundations in Faith. Without the initiative of patriotic Christian Americans, the Internet (and the Web) would not exist today. The world owes us its thanks.

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